Five batshit things to wake up in the night and worry about

SLEEPING a bit too well at the moment? Here are five mad and pointless questions that are sure to keep…

Oldest Kampala city pothole turns 18

The heart of Kampala has a pothole that happened to have turned 18 years yesterday and a grand birthday party…

Parents Worried They’ll Have To Raise Their Own Children As Schools Shut Down

UGANDA — Parents across the nation have expressed their worry, fear, and shock at having to raise their own children…

Man Who Just Reads News And Social Media All Day Unsure Why He’s So Depressed

NAJEERA, KAMPALA — Local Christian man Jacob Byabakama gets up in the morning and does his daily devotionals on Facebook,…

Car Alarm Sick Of Being Yelled At For Doing Its Job

KAMPALA — Voicing anger over what it described as a severely hostile work environment, a local car alarm announced Monday…

Research: This Article Successfully Pads Out Content Quota

KAMPALA — According to a new report released Friday, this article, the one you are currently reading, has successfully padded…

Pastor Accidentally Punches Self, Knocks Teeth Out While Preaching

Kampala — Gesticulating wildly while preaching on Romans 8:17 Thursday, Pastor John Okello accidentally struck himself in the face with…

Woman Hopes Husband Listened Closely To Pastor’s Sermon On Self-Righteousness

Ntinda, Kampala — Local woman Namakula Rachel told UCN on Sunday she hopes her husband Kasozi Andrew listened closely to…

Rookie Move: Non-Tithe Giver Makes Eye Contact With Church Usher

Kampala - In a costly rookie move for the relatively new churchgoers, local man Odong Robert and his wife Joan…

Local Father Pretends To Understand Son’s Math Homework

Kampala — While helping his son with his P4 math homework Monday afternoon, local father Byaruhanga Dickson pretended to understand…

As Lockdown ends, Churches Having To Remind People To Put On Pants

Kampala — Some churches across the nation have begun reopening, but church officials are running into a problem as many…

Churches Scramble To Widen Doorways As Sheep Return From Lockdown 50kgs Heavier

Kampala — Several churches in Uganda are being forced to widen their doors so returning customers sheep can fit through…

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