Corrupt Ugandans Deny Panic Over Proposed Whistleblower Desk
KAMPALA — Following calls by outgoing State Minister for Regional Cooperation John Mulimba for the establishment of a special whistleblower desk to support ongoing anti-corruption investigations, several Ugandans with unusually…
Married Man Leaps Into Affair Without Hint of Guilt
KAMPALA — Friends have confirmed that married man Tom Lwanga,…
Man Who’s Been in 3 House Burglaries Starting to Think This May Be About Him
Kampala - Saying he is not one to overthink things but…
Ebola Confirms Outbreak in DRC, Accuses Uganda of “Unfair” Response
The Ebola virus has announced a new outbreak in the DRC, complaining that modern response…
Woman Still Expects Ex To Fix Her Wifi, Listen To Work Drama
Ivan and I agreed that nothing should change just because we broke up,” Tracy said,…
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Man Accuses ATM of Attitude After Low Balance Card Ejection
KAMPALA — A Kampala man has raised concerns about what he described as “unnecessary hostility”…
Ghost Voters Scoff at EC’s Plan Against Ballot Stuffing
Uganda's ghost voters are up in arms over new biometric verification technology, calling the Electoral…
Kampala Woman Suffers Existential Crisis After Salon Visit Devoid of Gossip
A Naguru salon faces backlash for its staff's silent service, leaving a client feeling 'incompletely…
Money Lenders Mourn Lost Opportunity to Fund Next Pope’s Election
The disappointment stems from the Vatican’s strict rules on papal elections, which inexplicably forbid bribery,…
Fake Academic Paper Holders Urge Calm Amidst Mass Verification
Kampala, Uganda* – In what can only be described as the least surprising scandal of…
I’ve Been Through Hell! – Mathias Walukagga’s Left Hand Speaks Out
Amawulire managed to secure an exclusive interview with the hand, which spoke to us through…
Criminals Dispute Uganda Police Crime Report
KAMPALA — Uganda Police Force’s recently released monthly crime report has incensed ccriminals across Uganda…
EC Voter Register Update – Ghost Voters Demand Inclusion: ‘We Have Rights Too!’
In a surprising twist to Uganda’s electoral preparations, a group of self-proclaimed “ghost voters” has…
Relax, I’m Just Here for the Vibes!’ – Ebola virus downplays USA travel advisory
In a groundbreaking and slightly unsettling turn of events, Ebola has granted an exclusive interview to UCN to address the…
Corruption distances self from protest march to parliament
In an unprecedented move today, Corruption officially distanced itself from a large-scale protest march headed towards Parliament. Speaking at an…
The womaniser’s guide to post-coital etiquette
ARE you a man confused by how much time you should waste after sex cuddling? Chauvinist and self-appointed ‘God’s gift…
Horrified man discovers going to bed early makes him less tired following day
I’d never have guessed I could eradicate my tiredness by not being tired. It still…
Breaking: All Of Uganda’s Problems Solved Overnight While You Were Sleeping
KAMPALA—In a string of overwhelming and unexpected successes, all of the uganda’s problems, from corruption…
Makerere University Students Put Under Quarantine After Exposure To Library Book
Makerere University — Warning that the dangerous contaminant could have easily killed someone if the…
Kampala Meat Packers Hires Assassins To Quietly Slaughter Cows In Their Sleep
Industrial Area - Addressing the need to incorporate more humane practices at its facilities, management…
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Landlord Informs Tenants He’s Increasing Endless Economic Anxiety By 200K
KAMPALA — Blaming the change on factors like inflation and steep URA taxes that were out of his control, local landlord Byakagaba Andrew reportedly informed his tenants Monday that he…
Trip Organizer Forced To Remove Sober Client From Road Trip Bus
KAMPALA — After management of a road trip around dubbed Uganda 360 escorted a passenger off the trip bus and charged him with orderly conduct, FlySafaris, a travel agent has…
Child Putting On Whole Show For Woman Whom Single Dad Will Only Bang Twice
KAMPALA — In a wasted effort to tug at the heartstrings of a woman his…
Kampala’s Potholes in a state of panic as KCCA Threatens to Fix Them
Kampala potholes have received information that KCCA is planning to fix them soon. This has…
Wife Sues Husband for not Nagging Her
A local woman has filed a lawsuit against her husband, claiming that he has failed…
I am not worth 37bn – Acre of land in Kisenyi speaks out
In a shocking turn of events, an acre of land in Kisenyi, downtown Kampala city…
Kampala City Potholes Welcome 2023 in Style
As the New Year's Eve celebrations began, the potholes of around Kampala city gathered together…
Workmates Shocked as Beautiful Girl Turns Out To Be A Workaholic
Initially confused about assigning a role to the new good looking girl, office team members…
Man Contracts Syphilis After Licking Dance Pole – Sues Kimansulo Club
Kampala | A 28-year-old man who has contracted syphilis after licking a dance pole has…
Safe to take bribes again, conclude corrupt people
After lying low for several months as the mood of the nation was strictly against…