In an unprecedented move today, Corruption officially distanced itself from a large-scale protest march headed towards Parliament. Speaking at an exclusive press conference, Mr. Corruption declared that he had “nothing to do with the protest” and that his presence in the political landscape has been “grossly exaggerated.”
“I want to set the record straight,” Corruption stated emphatically. “These protestors have their own agenda, and frankly, I find their methods distasteful. Marching through the streets, waving banners, chanting slogans—it’s all so undignified.”
The announcement came as a shock to many, especially given Corruption’s well-documented history of cozying up to political leaders, influencing policy decisions, and generally making itself at home in government offices. Yet today, Corruption appeared resolute in its decision to stay away from the limelight.
“It’s about time I took a step back,” Corruption admitted. “I’ve been very busy lately, infiltrating various sectors, and frankly, I need a break. These protests are just too noisy and chaotic for my taste.”
The protestors, numbering in hundreds, were seen carrying signs such as “Down with Corruption,” “Clean Politics Now,” and “No More Bribes.” Organizers of the march were quick to dismiss Corruption’s statement as a blatant attempt to avoid accountability.
“Corruption has been a shadow over our democracy for far too long,” said one protest leader. “This is just a feeble attempt to dodge the spotlight. We won’t be fooled.”
Political analysts have been left scratching their heads at Corruption’s sudden retreat. Some speculate that it might be a strategic move to rebrand itself, while others believe that the ongoing investigations and mounting public pressure have finally gotten to it.
Meanwhile, satirical comedians had a field day with the news. One late-night host quipped, “Corruption distancing itself from a protest against corruption is like a cat distancing itself from a bowl of cream.”
Despite Corruption’s absence, the protest march continued with fervor, almost reaching Parliament by late afternoon. There, protestors almost delivered a petition demanding immediate action against corrupt practices and greater transparency in government affairs.
As the sun set on a day of fervent activism, one thing was clear: Corruption may have tried to distance itself, but the people’s resolve to combat it was stronger than ever.
“It’s not about Corruption distancing itself from us,” said another protestor. “It’s about us distancing ourselves from Corruption—for good.”
In a final twist, rumors circulated that Corruption was last seen sneaking into a high-level cocktail party, proving once again that while it might distance itself from a protest, it’s never too far from the halls of power.
