Man Accuses ATM of Attitude After Low Balance Card Ejection
KAMPALA — A Kampala man has raised concerns about what he described as “unnecessary hostility” from an ATM machine after it found less funds on his account and ejected his…
Married Man Leaps Into Affair Without Hint of Guilt
KAMPALA — Friends have confirmed that married man Tom Lwanga, 35, entered an extramarital affair with zero hesitation, zero reflection, and zero signs of internal struggle. Witnesses say Lwanga, married…
Travel
Man Who’s Been in 3 House Burglaries Starting to Think This May Be About Him
Kampala - Saying he is not one to overthink things but admitting the situation was now “looking somehow,” Kisaasi resident Geoffrey Agaba revealed Monday that he is beginning to suspect the…
Ghost Voters Scoff at EC’s Plan Against Ballot Stuffing
Uganda's ghost voters are up in arms over new biometric verification technology, calling the Electoral Commission's anti-rigging measures discriminatory against the non-corporeal electorate.
Kampala Woman Suffers Existential Crisis After Salon Visit Devoid of Gossip
A Naguru salon faces backlash for its staff's silent service, leaving a client feeling 'incompletely serviced' due to a critical lack of gossip during her appointment, despite a new 'Focus…
Ebola Confirms Outbreak in DRC, Accuses Uganda of “Unfair” Response
The Ebola virus has announced a new outbreak in the DRC, complaining that modern response efforts are "stifling its organic growth" and making it harder to operate.
Woman Still Expects Ex To Fix Her Wifi, Listen To Work Drama
Ivan and I agreed that nothing should change just because we broke up,” Tracy said, eating her Rolex with nyanya mbisi. So obviously, he’ll still come over to fix my…
Money Lenders Mourn Lost Opportunity to Fund Next Pope’s Election
The disappointment stems from the Vatican’s strict rules on papal elections, which inexplicably forbid bribery,…
Fake Academic Paper Holders Urge Calm Amidst Mass Verification
Kampala, Uganda* – In what can only be described as the least…
I’ve Been Through Hell! – Mathias Walukagga’s Left Hand Speaks Out
Amawulire managed to secure an exclusive interview with the hand, which spoke…
Criminals Dispute Uganda Police Crime Report
KAMPALA — Uganda Police Force’s recently released monthly crime report has incensed…
Oponio
EC Voter Register Update – Ghost Voters Demand Inclusion: ‘We Have Rights Too!’
In a surprising twist to Uganda’s electoral preparations, a group of self-proclaimed “ghost voters” has come forward to express their frustration at being excluded from the ongoing update of the…
Latest Stories
Breaking: All Of Uganda’s Problems Solved Overnight While You Were Sleeping
KAMPALA—In a string of overwhelming and unexpected successes, all of the uganda’s problems, from corruption to disease to high costs…
Makerere University Students Put Under Quarantine After Exposure To Library Book
Makerere University — Warning that the dangerous contaminant could have easily killed someone if the proper precautions had not been…
Kampala Meat Packers Hires Assassins To Quietly Slaughter Cows In Their Sleep
Industrial Area - Addressing the need to incorporate more humane practices at its facilities, management at Meat Parkers announced Thursday…
Landlord Informs Tenants He’s Increasing Endless Economic Anxiety By 200K
KAMPALA — Blaming the change on factors like inflation and steep URA taxes that were out of his control, local…
Trip Organizer Forced To Remove Sober Client From Road Trip Bus
KAMPALA — After management of a road trip around dubbed Uganda 360 escorted a passenger off the trip bus and…
Child Putting On Whole Show For Woman Whom Single Dad Will Only Bang Twice
KAMPALA — In a wasted effort to tug at the heartstrings of a woman his father had brought back to…
Kampala’s Potholes in a state of panic as KCCA Threatens to Fix Them
Kampala potholes have received information that KCCA is planning to fix them soon. This has caused a state of panic…
Wife Sues Husband for not Nagging Her
A local woman has filed a lawsuit against her husband, claiming that he has failed to fulfill his marital duties…
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