What's We Reading
Man Accuses ATM of Attitude After Low Balance Card Ejection
KAMPALA — A Kampala man has raised concerns about what he described as “unnecessary hostility”…
Ghost Voters Scoff at EC’s Plan Against Ballot Stuffing
Uganda's ghost voters are up in arms over new biometric verification technology, calling the Electoral Commission's anti-rigging measures discriminatory against the non-corporeal electorate.
Money Lenders Mourn Lost Opportunity to Fund Next Pope’s Election
The disappointment stems from the Vatican’s strict rules on papal elections, which inexplicably forbid bribery,…
Fake Academic Paper Holders Urge Calm Amidst Mass Verification
Kampala, Uganda* – In what can only be described as the least surprising scandal of…
I’ve Been Through Hell! – Mathias Walukagga’s Left Hand Speaks Out
Amawulire managed to secure an exclusive interview with the hand, which spoke to us through…
Relax, I’m Just Here for the Vibes!’ – Ebola virus downplays USA travel advisory
In a groundbreaking and slightly unsettling turn of events, Ebola has granted an exclusive interview…
Corruption distances self from protest march to parliament
In an unprecedented move today, Corruption officially distanced itself from a large-scale protest march headed…
The womaniser’s guide to post-coital etiquette
How long should I cuddle her after sex? If at all – and I never…
Horrified man discovers going to bed early makes him less tired following day
A MAN who has felt sluggish and groggy every morning for the last 20 years…
Breaking: All Of Uganda’s Problems Solved Overnight While You Were Sleeping
KAMPALA—In a string of overwhelming and unexpected successes, all of the uganda’s problems, from corruption…
Makerere University Students Put Under Quarantine After Exposure To Library Book
Makerere University — Warning that the dangerous contaminant could have easily killed someone if the…
Kampala Meat Packers Hires Assassins To Quietly Slaughter Cows In Their Sleep
Industrial Area - Addressing the need to incorporate more humane practices at its facilities, management…
Landlord Informs Tenants He’s Increasing Endless Economic Anxiety By 200K
KAMPALA — Blaming the change on factors like inflation and steep URA taxes that were…
Trip Organizer Forced To Remove Sober Client From Road Trip Bus
KAMPALA — After management of a road trip around dubbed Uganda 360 escorted a passenger…
Child Putting On Whole Show For Woman Whom Single Dad Will Only Bang Twice
KAMPALA — In a wasted effort to tug at the heartstrings of a woman his…
Kampala’s Potholes in a state of panic as KCCA Threatens to Fix Them
Kampala potholes have received information that KCCA is planning to fix them soon. This has…
Wife Sues Husband for not Nagging Her
A local woman has filed a lawsuit against her husband, claiming that he has failed…
I am not worth 37bn – Acre of land in Kisenyi speaks out
In a shocking turn of events, an acre of land in Kisenyi, downtown Kampala city…
Kampala City Potholes Welcome 2023 in Style
As the New Year's Eve celebrations began, the potholes of around Kampala city gathered together…
Workmates Shocked as Beautiful Girl Turns Out To Be A Workaholic
Initially confused about assigning a role to the new good looking girl, office team members…
Man Contracts Syphilis After Licking Dance Pole – Sues Kimansulo Club
Kampala | A 28-year-old man who has contracted syphilis after licking a dance pole has…
Safe to take bribes again, conclude corrupt people
After lying low for several months as the mood of the nation was strictly against…
Five nightmare wankers you’ll end up sat next to on a Uganda Airlines plane
GOING on holiday aboard Uganda Airlines? Prepare yourself to endure five hours stuck next to…
Elections should run every year – Money Lenders
A group of money lenders has written to the Electoral Commission today and asked them to…
Electricity fails to go off during heavy rains
In a bizarre development, electricity in and around the city was found on without any…
Speeding bodaboda cyclist launches into space after hitting pothole
A speeding bodaboda cyclist has been launched into space after hitting a gaping pothole in…
Tensions run high as wife utters name of ex during love making
Najeera. In a major relationship gaffe, Sharon Namubiru, 29, blurted out the name of her…
Accept my apology for shagging your best friend and emptying the joint account, man tells wife
Brian Isabirye informed wife Diana he deserves credit for coming clean after the Whatsapp messages,…