Money Lenders Mourn Lost Opportunity to Fund Next Pope’s Election

The disappointment stems from the Vatican’s strict rules on papal elections, which inexplicably forbid bribery,…

Fake Academic Paper Holders Urge Calm Amidst Mass Verification

Kampala, Uganda* – In what can only be described as the least surprising scandal of…

I’ve Been Through Hell! – Mathias Walukagga’s Left Hand Speaks Out

Amawulire managed to secure an exclusive interview with the hand, which spoke to us through…

Criminals Dispute Uganda Police Crime Report

KAMPALA —  Uganda Police Force’s recently released monthly crime report has incensed ccriminals across Uganda…

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Five nightmare wankers you’ll end up sat next to on a Uganda Airlines plane

GOING on holiday aboard Uganda Airlines? Prepare yourself to endure five hours stuck next to one…

Elections should run every year – Money Lenders

A group of money lenders has written to the Electoral Commission today and asked them to conduct…

Electricity fails to go off during heavy rains

In a bizarre development, electricity in and around the city was found on without any load…

Speeding bodaboda cyclist launches into space after hitting pothole

A speeding bodaboda cyclist has been launched into space after hitting a gaping pothole in downtown Kampala

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Tensions run high as wife utters name of ex during love making

Najeera. In a major relationship gaffe, Sharon Namubiru, 29, blurted out the name of her ex-boyfriend last night when she…

5 Min Read

Accept my apology for shagging your best friend and emptying the joint account, man tells wife

Brian Isabirye informed wife Diana he deserves credit for coming clean after the Whatsapp messages, bank statements, CCTV footage and…

2 Min Read

Weekend Office Party Leaves Employee with Stiff Stretched Lips

Okiror kept on smiling at them and laughing at their jokes for five hours continuously, something doctors suspect of having…

5 Min Read

Embarrassed Woman Sneaks Out Of House Early Morning After Sex With Husband

“I had a few too many drinks last night and made a huge mistake. Now he’s going to get the…

1 Min Read

Little Johnny discovers “Holy Shit”, writes to UCN

Dear UCN, I am writing to you to let you know that I’ve discovered “holy shit”! I had always wondered…

3 Min Read

Horrified woman forgets to tell social media she’s had her Covid jab

A WOMAN who has just joined thousands of Ugandans in having her Covid vaccine is mortified she forgot to share…

1 Min Read