KAMPALA — In a wasted effort to tug at the heartstrings of a woman his father had brought back to their home, sources reported Thursday that local child Jerry Kiwanuka, 7, was putting on a whole show for someone his single father would date only briefly and bang no more than twice.
“He sang her a song he learned in school and then asked her if she’d like to share some of his toys,” Kiwanuka Dickson said as his son took out crayons and drew a picture of himself, his father, and the woman his father was not interested in having a relationship with and would probably never see again after they had hooked up a couple times.
“Oh God, he won’t stop calling her pretty. And now that he’s hugging her good night and going to bed, I realize he thinks she’s going to be here in the morning. Fuck.” The first-grader also reportedly invited the woman to his birthday party three months from now, by which point sources confirmed to UCN the woman would no longer remember the boy’s name.
