Heaven. Cupid, the leading global manufacturer of lovers, has decided to recall millions of defective women that were offloaded in Uganda in the recent years. The decision was taken after a series of complaints were received from Ugandan men, who expressed complete dissatisfaction with the performance of these products.
“We had been receiving a lot of complaints from disgruntled men for some time now, but the number skyrocketed since the start of this year. We took a closer look at the products, and unfortunately many of them were indeed malfunctioning. We have decided to recall these and have ordered an inquiry into the incident.” Ekky Luvluv, spokesman for Cupid Inc. informed, though he maintained that the products were in good and pure form when they had left the warehouse in Heaven.
The complaints from men regarding the products include – unfaithful, lustful, rude, lesbianism, bad breath, bad kisser, lack of imagination, low on passion, detoothers and alcoholism etc. Although Ekky Luvluv refused to call these manufacturing defects, he agreed that there might have been some error in the circuit system when assembling the brains.
“Something went wrong. We’re working on getting this fixed as soon as we can. You may be able to try again.”Ekky sounded almost like Ugandan customer care adviser when asked if these women could become normal again.
Ekky then hastily added that Uganda as a country too had changed a lot over the years and the environment down there might have ceased to be conducive to the desired functioning of his products.
“We had fitted them with the same brain circuit chip that we’ve been using for ages around the world, but yet all of them exhibit the same problems. If the same chip was working well earlier, you can’t call it a manufacturing defect, can you?” Ekky wondered.
Ekky Luvluv declined to confirm if he was planning to put an official authorized user-manual with the future batch of products, but he did laugh out loud at various “How to please a woman” books in Ugandan bookshops that claimed to contain guidelines for improved performance of their products.
Back in Kampala, the news was greeted with happiness and hope by most men, although gay men scoffed at the idea and believed that Cupid Inc. will re-release the products without making any changes.
“Twakoowa!!! .. We gave up on these woman. The best for our straight brothers is to start considering these defective pieces as normal. All we pray is that our fellow gay men women don’t suffer a recall.”, Chris Mubiru – a gay activist told Amawulure.
