KAMPALA — Dickson Okellor, a resident of Kireka was tragically killed in a motorcycle accident yesterday. His death was quickly ruled death by coronavirus by medical experts. Okello wasn’t tested for coronavirus, but he exhibited many of the symptoms, such as, laboured breathing, suffering and dying, so he was immediately added to the growing coronavirus death statistics in Uganda.
“Okello’s 22-year-long life was tragically cut short yesterday, presumably by coronavirus, as he plummetted into the ground at a high rate of speed,” said a District health official. “Darn you, coronavirus! How many more will you take from us? HOW MANY MORE!?!?”
As Okello’s body was scraped off the ground and loaded into a bodybag, which is how they take care of these things, a police officer stood by and took notes on his clipboard. “Yep, looks like coronavirus to me. If he’d only socially distanced himself from the ground or worn a helmet mask, he’d have been OK. Add him to the growing numbers, boys.”
“I guess you could say he” — at this point, he put his sunglass on for dramatic effect — “didn’t understand the gravity of the situation.”
